In The News: With DerekZane
- Chad Kroeger, singer and former billboard for Ramen Noodles, proposed to fellow Canadian Avril Lavigne with a 17-Carat ring. “I’m so excited!” exclaimed Lavigne. “I might even let him touch me in the engagement pictures.”
- Golfer Dustin Johnson has been suspended by the PGA for six months for cocaine use. Wait, cocaine is illegal? Oh, I mean he’s taking a leave of absence That’s it. Just some time off to deal with “personal stuff.”
- Paul George, forward and star player for the Indiana Pacers, suffered what will definitely be a season-ending (if not career ending) leg injury while playing a game that means absolutely nothing in Las Vegas Friday Night. The broken leg happened on a defensive play which, according to J.R. Smith, is why he never plays defense.
- Julie Roberts was in the news for some reason.
- The House of Representatives passed a vote that would allow leader John Boner(sp?) to sue the President. When asked where he thinks the money would come from, Boner replied, “Come from? Where it always comes from, of course—The Middle Class. Why else are they there?”
- An Ebola outbreak in West Africa has led The WHO (not the band) to become very concerned. With more than 1,300 being infected, it is being considered the worst outbreak on record. Westerners are working frantically around the clock to try to find a way to get Justin Bieber over there before doctors get it under control.