The Five Stairsteps - Ooh Child
So I’m sitting on my couch playing video games (because I do that occasionally) and pause the game. As I do I hear a smoke alarm going off. I don’t think anything of it but, after pausing again a few minutes later, I hear it still going off and shouting. I dart outside to make sure everything is okay and see a decent amount of smoke coming from the apartment two down from mine around the corner, same building. I run back inside and grab my phone and head back ready to call 911.
I get there to see a man and a woman standing at the bottom of the staircase as the lady is calling the fire department. There is an older man and a teenager coming down the stairs along with a heavy-set lady who is coughing like crazy and a little more than startled. In fact she’s downright dramatic. My first instinct is to run up to the apartment and make sure there is no one else in there, but I’m quickly informed she was the only one. The older gentleman—who is also doing his fair amount of coughing—lives across the way. He and his son broke into the apartment and put out the fire, which was a small stove fire but enough to fill the house with smoke.
It looks like everything is okay, but the rescue team is on their way non-the-less. I run back to my house and grab a few bottles of water and a blanket. The man takes the water happily, but the lady is still coughing and oh-my-godding too much to take notice of me. A few minutes later we have everyone out of the building, but most of the action is done at this point.
They took the lady to the hospital (I think more as a precautionary measure than anything) and we were just told it was safe to go back into our buildings.
The word “hero” is a bit much for this type of situation, but I give the man who went in credit for courage in that situation. I always wonder how the everyday man would react in times of turmoil and, although this is a small instance, it is always nice to see the decency in times like these.
How I Imagine Fairs Were Created
- Person 1: We should have a party.
- Person 2: Ok. Where do you want to have it.
- Person 1: Umm...how about here?
- Person 2: Here? What, in this parking lot?
- Person 1: Sure, why not? And let's invite everybody.
- Person 2: Everybody who?
- Person 1: Like, the entire town. We can have food and games and stuff.
- Person 2: Games. We don't have any games here. All we have is some coke bottles and these rubber rings.
- Person 1: So we'll, like, have them throw the rings on the bottles. And if they win we'll, uh...we'll give them something from your stuffed animal collection.
- Person 2: What? Fine, but then I'm charging them to play. What about food? We can get some popcorn.
- Person 1: You know what sounds good? Corndogs!
- Person 2: Oh! And cotton candy! This is turning out to be a good party. When should we have it?
- Person 1: Let's do it over the entire weekend. That way everyone will have time to come.
- Person 2: That sounds fair.
- Person 1: Fair...
Gay Matrix: A Fan Fiction Prequel
"I know he’s out there, Trin, I just know it!" Morpheus removed the cucumber slices from his eyes and replaced them with the same dark sunglasses he always wore to help hide his crow’s feet. He wasn’t necessarily an insecure man, but his level of confidence wasn’t quite what he portrayed to the rest of his shipmates. Around Trinity though, he always felt he could be himself.
"I know there’s a great guy out there for you, sweetie," Trinity replied. "You’ll find him some day. You’re a great guy and anyone would be lucky to have you."
"Not anyone," he objected. "The one!”
Trinity had heard this pouty proclamation before and it took everything in her power not to roll her eyes. Morpheus was a great friend, but he never took breakups well. And after the last was killed by another agent, well…
"I’m going to find him, Trin. And I’m going to tell him how special he is and how much he means to me and he’ll know then that I’m the man from his dreams, the man he’s been searching for his whole life as I have searched for him. And when we finally do meet, the world will feel our love!"
"Morph, I believe it, I really do. But you can’t spend your entire life waiting for the one. You need to stop looking for Mr. Neo and start looking for Mr. Right Neow."
Morpheus gave that a thought. He liked the idea of going out and simply having a good time. It had been so long since he let himself cut loose. Trinity could see the contemplation in his gap-toothed smile and decided to push.
"Why don’t we go clubbing in Zion tonight. I heard they’ve got a great new cave rave. Come on, it’ll be fun! Lots of sweaty boys, some awkward dance music that doesn’t fit into our genre, and maybe that guy from LOST will show up. So…you in?"
Morpheus did have a thing for pseudo-celebrities. “Alright,” he said. “I’m in! Just, don’t tell Tank and Dozer, okay? They’re still giving me a hard time about the last time.”
Dude wears leggings and calls out every guy that checks out his butt walking by.
I didn’t say it on stage, but in 1992, I was one week into filming “Dazed and Confused.” My father moved on six days into working on that job. He got to be alive for me to be doing the one thing that turned out to be my career. He came to my mind tonight.
Oh I got one…
I guess Leo found out tonight that time is a flat circle.
Life’s barely long enough to get good at one thing. Just be careful what you get good at.
That girl was on a mission.
The fourth one though holy fuck
my new favourite person
I was told today that I didn’t get the promotion I applied for, which is fine because I had already written it off at this point, but it leaves me in this weird place where I don’t know if I should continue with this company that I have been with for 3.5 years or if I should try to move on to somewhere better where I can make more money. I have a lot of people who ask me why I’m where I am when I could be somewhere much better, but you have to weigh everything when making big decisions. Like
If I leave…
I will lose full-time status
I’ll probably end up on an 8pm-4am shift
I’ll lose PTO
I’ll lose company insurance
I’ll have to start from the bottom again
I will make more money
Like, 15k-30k/year more
This promotion would have solved all of my problems, but there’s nothing I can do about it now. They said my interview was great and I was in the running but just wasn’t chosen this time. They said the cliche “don’t be discouraged” stuff and yada yada yada but, what it comes down to it, the people who move up aren’t always the ones deserving. I still don’t know who is getting the position, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to be someone new to the company at this point, which I don’t agree with. If that is the case, I think my decision problems might have been solved for me again.
30 Celebrities and Their Real Names
- Shawn Michaels (wrestler) - Michael Shawn Hickenbottom
- Marilyn Monroe - Noma Jeane Mortenson
- Michael Caine - Maurice Joseph Micklewhite
- Elton Hercules John - Reginald Kenneth Dwight
- John Stewart - Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
- Judy Garland - Frances Ethel Gumm
- Ben Kingsley - Krishna Pandit Bhanji
- Cary Grant - Archibald Alexander Leach (not so hot now, is he?)
- Chevy Chase - Cornelius Crane Chase
- Tia Carrere - Althea Rae Duhinio Janairo
- Freddie Mercury - Farrokh Bulsara
- Kirk Douglas - Issur Danielovitch Demsky
- Alice Cooper - Vincent Damon Furnier
- Portia de Rossi - Amanda Lee Rogers
- Les Paul - Lester William Polfuss (doesn’t sound as good on a guitar)
- Ralph Lauren - Ralph Lifshitz (nobody would buy that shirt)
- John Wayne - Marion Michael Morrison
- Olivia Wilde - Olivia Jane Cockburn (I guess I won’t be taking her last name afterall)
- Gene Simmons - Chaim Klein Witz
- Richard Simmons - Milton Teagle Simmons (he looks like a Milton!)
- Tina Turner - Anna Mae Bullock
- Shania Twain - Eilleen Regina Edwards
- John Denver - Henry John Deitschendorf
- Gene Wilder - Jerome Silberman
- Stevie Wonder - Stevland Hardway Judkins
- Bruce Lee - Lee Yuen Kam
- Gerald Ford - Leslie Lynch King, Jr. (any WoW fans?)
- Kareem Abdul-Jabbar - Ferdinand Lewis Alcindor, Jr.
- Engelbert Humperdinck - Arnold George Dorsey (yes, he changed it to the former)
- Dita Von Teese - Heather Renee Sweet (still a fancy name)
Also, M. Night Shyamalan’s first name is Manoj, so for now on I’m calling him Nighty Manoj
Love this song.