December 2010
23 posts
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He's A Super Priest! Super Priest! He's Super...
I recently had the honor of performing the ceremony at my sister’s wedding. Although it didn’t go as well as I had wanted (I’m not that great at public speaking), it didn’t go completely terribly. Unfortunately, I didn’t say much of anything I had planned, so I decided to share what I had actually written for the event. Enjoy (or criticize).
Welcome, everybody, to...
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Nostalgia
I was getting ready for work today (as I occasionally do) when I started feeling nostalgic, the same bit of nostalgia I felt before leaving for Missouri, and the same bit I lost when I got there. The problem with memories is they can never be recreated. Those moments in my past that I long to have again, those days of fun and laughter are forever lost to time. Only in my memory can they still be...
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Christmas In Missouri By The Numbers
6 - The number of days in Missouri
0 - The number of days aloud off by my job
2 - The number of movies watched on Christmas day
2 - The number of trips to the hospital
15 - The lowest temperature experienced
42 - The highest temperature experienced
10 - The number of beers drank
1 - The number of bottles of wine drank
2 - The number of mixed drinks drank
3 - The number of nights spent...
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Perspective
I received a Christmas card in the mail the other day from my grandma. I receive one from her every year, but this year was different. It wasn’t any different in the fact that it was still simple and contained a check for 50 dollars as it has every year for as long as I can remember, but it was different in the way I reacted in getting it. It has always been a thoughtful thing from a...
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A Small Complaint
I’m gonna be honest with you. I have an issue with toasters. Ok, maybe not toasters themselves (anyone who’s ever seen The Brave Little Toaster loves toasters), but rather the people who make them.
We have a toaster here in the apartment. It’s a cheap toaster and it acts as such. My problem is, why are there cheap toasters? I don’t feel making a good toaster would be...
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Judaism In A Can
Me: You know, I think I heard somewhere Jews aren't supposed to walk more than ten feet without their yarmulkes on.
Matt: So if I wanted to go to the kitchen, I'd either have to take really big steps or put my yarmulke on?
Me: It wouldn't matter. There's probably nothing in there you'd be aloud to eat anyway.
Matt: I've got some green beans in a can in there.
Me: Oh, well that's okay then.
Matt: That's the whole reason I bought them.
Me: In case you just happened to become Jewish?
Matt: Yup. I've got three cans of green beans in there.
Me: Well that's everything a young Jewish boy needs.
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NaNoWri...Yr
In case you are curious, I never finished my novel for NaNoWriMo. But that doesn’t mean I won’t be completing it at some point. I’ve decided to keep going, but I’m taking my time instead of trying to rush out something for some ridiculous deadline. I’m still unsure of how I feel about what it is right now, but I’m going to continue and then figure it out later...
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Memories
I was walking down the hall at work the other day during one of my breaks. As I walked along thinking of nothing, I passed a couple of girls. I knew they were fellow employees, but who they were or what department they worked in is both unknown and irrelevant. As I passed them, I smelled the perfumed of one and was immediately surrounded with old memories. I did not know this passing smell, yet it...
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Health UnCare
Today, federal judge, Henry E. Hudson, ruled the foundation of Obama’s health care reform unconstitutional. The ruling will obviously make its way into the Supreme Court, but it is yet another scenario of people using the constitution against ourselves.
Now, I am not against the constitution in any way, but I am against people using it to protect our “rights” at the expense of...
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Music Monday!
In my opinion, Otis Redding is the...
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The Fresh Prince Of St. Olaf
Matt: You know, I've been thinking a lot about this and I think The Fresh Prince is the straight man's Golden Girls.
Me: I don't know. I don't think of it as that.
Matt: Would you consider it the black man's Golden Girls?
Me: I think it has too much of a white following to say that.
Matt: Would you say The Cosby Show was the black man's Golden Girls?
Me: Not really, no. That was just a straight up good show.
Matt: Ya, I don't think it is either. Alright. Well, I'm going to find the straight man's Golden Girls.
Me: May as well find the black version while you're at it.
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Marching On
The other night I went out with my friend Kye to listen to a “band” his friends are in. I use quotation because it was less of a band and more of a circus. Ok, circus is still a bit incorrect. Let’s call it a marching band with performers. That work? Ya, I didn’t think it would.
A parade? You know what, forget it.
Kye invited me to join him to go listen. I met him at his...
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“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the...”
– Douglas Adams
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Reasons, According To Musicians, For Putting Your...
If you understand and agree (8Ball/Black Moon)
For undisclosed reasons (LL Cool J/Steve N King/Mary J Blige)
If you grew up in a difficult manner, recognize that fact, and acknowledge where you are now (DJ Khaled)
Because you consider the current song your “jam” (Flo Rida)
If you have a 10, 20, 50, or 100 dollar bill and/or long hair (Fatman Scoop)
For the plain and simple fact...
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Winter Wondering
Me: Who's Parson Brown?
Matt: He's the preacher in Winter Wonderland.
Me: The movie?
Matt: No. The place where the kids are. The snowman is Parson Brown.
Me: So they just came up with the name to rhyme it? Why would somebody make up a fictional character for a fictional song?
Matt: Because it's a fictional song! In that case, why make up a fictional character for anything? "I want to make up a fictional story, but I want only real characters."
Me: Well that's different. I mean, it's only one line! You're telling me they made a whole fictional character for one line just to rhyme...what does it rhyme with anyway?
Matt: "You can do the job while you're in town."
Me: They couldn't get anything else to rhyme with town? Like, something couldn't have been brown?
Matt: But he's Parson Brown because he has to be ordained in order to marry them.
Me: The kids are getting married?
Matt: Come on, D!
Me: I don't know what a Parson is.
Matt: "In the meadow we can build a snowman! And pretend that he is Parson Brown! He'll say, 'Are you married?', we'll say, 'No man. But you can do the job while you're in town.'"! Come on, D!
Me: I don't even know what a Parson is.
Matt: It's a minister.
Me: I thought it was a package.
tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?
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