The Moments Of Life
“We’re all puppets, Laurie. I’m just a puppet who can see the strings.”
I feel every day I become more like Dr. Manhattan from Watchmen. I see so many situations in life that people fret and fear and obsess over that, to me, are so minuscule. I look at the big picture while others focus on the distraction in front of them, blinding their foresight. It confuses me—their inability to understand. Sometimes I pity them—other times I am annoyed—and I feel bad about it. I want to let people know when situations are going to be okay, but they seldom understand. I learned a long time ago not to worry about things like love or money. Even when I had nothing, I still felt as though I had everything I needed. Maybe I have been set outside the situations too long. Maybe I have forgotten what it feels like or am even naive about the ordeal entirely. But I don’t feel as though that’s true.
I’ve learned that relationships are a silly thing to worry about. I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter where you live and that your friends only influence you if you want them to. I’ve lost the understanding of addiction and how people struggle with it; or with sleep for that matter. I’ve come to understand that knowledge is the most important thing and words are both the most powerful of tools and the weakest of weapons. Insults and offenses are issues of those being affected by them and should be seen as nothing but feeble attempts to bring out the worst in you while it simultaneously shows the weakness in them. How can people care about the opinions of others? They are wrong, whether true or not, in your mind. All these things that people focus on are pointless.
People are so set on improving their lives that they don’t realize it’s not their lives that need improvement. Improve your self. Life doesn’t change. It moves on its path and will continue no matter what you do to affect it. People somehow have got it in their brains that there is something wrong with their lives when the majority of the time there is not. It’s about how you perceive your situation. Comparing it to that of others will give you a jaded perception of how YOUR life is supposed to be. But the fact of the matter is it’s not supposed to be anything. It just is. Enjoy it as that. If you don’t like something, you have the ability to change it. Improve upon yourself for the sake of yourself and others. Yes, I said for others. Your life is only half for you, remember that. But don’t be held up by what is wrong or right about your life.
Problems such as cutting, alcoholism, drug addiction, and depression make no sense to me. If I want to quit something, I just quit it. I’m no different than you. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to do the same. This is how my mind works.
When I was younger I had anger issues. I went to a psychiatrist and took medication and felt no different. At some point, I decided I was done with it all. I stopped the medication and I stopped the anger. I don’t remember when that day was or if it was an immediate thing or gradual. I just know it stopped. I’ve been depressed and sad and every other emotion under the sun, but I’ve learned to accept those emotions as being human and, to a certain extent, enjoy them now. Nothing is permanent if you don’t want it to be. But still, people can’t give up cigarettes. Why? Because they don’t want to. If they truly did, they would never pick one up again.
Still, it confuses and frustrates people when I don’t see their problems. And it’s because I don’t have any problems. Sure, I wouldn’t mind more money, but I don’t need it. I could be in better shape, but the only thing keeping that from happening is me. These things aren’t problems. They are just things about myself that I could improve upon. So when people ask me things like why their relationship didn’t work out I want to say because they didn’t want it to. Or the other person didn’t want it to. Either way, who cares? Why would you want that relationship? It’s obviously not going to work out, so why waste time? I’ve used that for a lot of almost-relationships. “This isn’t going to work out, so why waste our time?” It doesn’t tend to go over well.
My point is, stop focusing on such little setbacks in life and you’ll see that none of them really matter. When I was in school I would stress over a test that I didn’t feel prepared for. But then I thought that, no matter how it went, it would be over in an hour. One hour and I won’t have any control over it anymore. Do you know how short an hour is? It’s over in an instant. Why am I stressing over an instant? I now look at all negative situations that way and because of it they don’t have any more control over me than I do of that test I finished my freshman year. This life is no different than a movie. You can comment on the little inconsistencies or you can just sit back and enjoy.
…And the universe will not even notice.
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