Underlined For Your Protection

10 Fun Facts You Definitely Didn't Know

Wed, 22 May 2013 10:39:28 -0700

Taco Bell was named after Alexander Graham Bell because he loved tacos so much.
Pi is actually a numerical palindrome if you have the patience to get to the end.
Goose down pillows were actually invented by Tom Cruise after the making of Top Gun. He was so emotionally distraught by the loss of Val Kilmer’s character that he couldn’t sleep. So he created a new pillow.
The scene from The Lord Of The Rings in which Sam is talking about potatoes never actually happened.
No matter the size of the bird they all weigh the exact same, which is why they can fly.
The movie Cool Runnings was nominated and won the Oscar for Best Film but the entire award ceremony was redone to omit it after the academy found out one of the actors was a member of Milli Vanilli and refused to start that fiasco all over again.
God is real and he loves spandex.
The song Mustang Sally is loosely based off the Shakespeare play Much Ado About Nothing.
The word “gif” is not a word at all and therefor does not have a pronunciation It is meant to be said, “G-I-F.” Same with “CARE package.”
Monica Lewinsky was named after the eye monocle because her father had to use one after, ironically, being burned in the eye by a cigar during conception.

Photo

Wed, 22 May 2013 09:15:41 -0700

Seared Tofu w/ Fried Rice

Tue, 21 May 2013 19:55:21 -0700

I decided to try a bit healthier tonight. I’ve never made tofu before (in fact I’ve only ever had those little cubes in my miso soup) so I figured I’d see how it does as a main course. The marinade is one I’ve used for grilled chicken before so I wasn’t worried about the flavor.

The Tofu

Ingredients:
1 Block Extra-Firm Tofu
1/4 Cup Teriyaki Sauce
3 tbs Worcestershire Sauce
1 tbs Soy Sauce
1 tbs Sherry Vinegar
Hot Sauce to taste

Directions:

Slice the tofu into four strips and wrap in paper towels. Place a cookie sheet on top and a large can to weigh down and ring out moisture for 1 hour.
Mix together teriyaki, worcestershire, soy, sherry, and hot sauce in a sealable container big enough to place all of the tofu pieces in. Marinate tofu for 30 minutes, flipping halfway through.
Set a non-stick skillet to high heat. Pat dry tofu then sear on each side 3-5 minutes or until prepared to your liking.

Remember, tofu doesn’t have to be cooked at all, so don’t worry about if it’s done or not. I’ve read that freezing and thawing prior to cooking increases firmness to that of most meat, but…

The Rice

Ingredients:
1 Package Boil-In-A-Bag White Rice
1/2 Cup Chopped Onion
1 Egg
2 tbs Soy Sauce
Sesame Seeds to taste
Black Pepper to taste

Directions:

Cook rice according to directions, remove from bag, and allow to cool.
Pour a small amount of oil into a large skillet and set to high heat. Cook onions until slightly soft and move to one side of pan. Scramble egg and add to pan.
Once the egg is mostly cooked, add the rice and mix it all together. Cook for 30 seconds and then add soy sauce, black pepper, and sesame seeds. Once hot, remove from heat and serve.

As an FYI, every measurement in this recipe is estimated. I don’t measure when I cook like this, so keep that in mind when adding ingredients and change according to what you like.

I’m gonna be honest, I think vegetarians are crazy because I love meat, but sometimes you need to expand your horizons. This may not have been the best thing I’ve ever cooked, but it wasn’t the worst either (hello first attempt at stir-fry!). I think tofu is something I’ll have to warm up to.

If you had to leave your life and live in a movie what movie would it be, and what character would you be, and how would it continue after the credits roll?

Tue, 21 May 2013 16:38:44 -0700

It’s really hard to turn down the chance to be a Jedi. I’m not even that big of a Star Wars fan, but there really is no better life than living in the future on a distant planet as an awesome warrior with magic powers (basically). But I could also see that life getting taxing. So maybe something a bit more ordinary. Still, the future would be my first choice, so I think I’d like to live in Back to the Future 2 as Marty McFly.
As a kid there was nothing cooler than the technology in that movie. Hoverboards, instant food, glasses that can answer the phone…yes, yes. That is the life for me. But I’d probably have to say sorry to my professor pal and head back to the future rather than the old west to save his ass. I’d find some nice place far away from my actual future self and live happily with my flying time machine.

Hi.

Tue, 21 May 2013 16:10:24 -0700

Hi.

Ah, the good ol' days of cybersex

Tue, 21 May 2013 13:07:12 -0700

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
Bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?
MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
MommyMelissa: is that it?
Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT.
MommyMelissa: ...
Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the f**k is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. shit.
MommyMelissa: whatever.

Vegetable Tempura w/ Dipping Sauce

Tue, 21 May 2013 09:16:17 -0700

You gotta appreciate the attention to detail the Japanese embed into everything they do. While the English are making greasy Fish n Chips and Americans are covering, well, everything in a heavy batter, our friends from the East have essentially perfected the art of frying.

Deep fried. It’s a term most look down upon these days. It’s thought of as the bottom of the barrel in healthy living. Now, I must admit that fried food is in no way the most healthy way of cooking, but it has definitely gotten a lot worse of a reputation than it deserves (damn fast food joints). So I’ve attempted to take it back, a la the Japanese.

The Tempura

Ingredients:
Vegetables of choice (I went with carrots, zucchini, and sweet potatoes)
1.5 quarts Vegetable Oil
1 Egg
5 Cups Cake Flour
2 Cups Cold Water (seltzer water will help make a lighter batter as well)

Directions:

Slice carrots into strips and zucchini and sweet potatoes into 1/8 inch-thick rounds.
Heat oil to 375F.
Mix the egg with the water and pour on to flour. Mix just until combined (do not over-mix).
Doing 3-5 at a time, dip the vegetables in the batter and place in heated oil for roughly 2 minutes or until they start to lightly turn brown. Remove, drain, and set aside to cool. Continue until complete.

It is very important to wait until the last possible minute to make the batter. Along with over-mixing, a resting batter will create gluten which will cause a thick, chewy, and greasy battered product. You can also replace up to a quarter of the water with vodka to help reduce gluten formation. Also, keeping the batter as cold as possible with improve the final product as well (I told you the Japanese were all about details).

The Dipping Sauce

The Ingredients:
1 Cup Vegetable Broth (water will do in a pinch)
1/4 Cup Sherry Vinegar (or Mirin if you can find it)
1/4 Cup Soy Sauce
1 tsp Sugar

Directions:

Combine all ingredients in a small sauce pan over medium high heat.
Bring to a boil for 30 seconds then remove from heat and allow to cool.

If you did everything right, you should have a light, airy, and delicious batter. I think proper tempura takes practice and this was only my first attempt. It was delicious, but not as good as some I’ve had in restaurants. I suppose I need to work on my details.

What two things do you HOPE to accomplish by the age of 35? What two things will you DEFINITELY accomplish by age 40?

Mon, 20 May 2013 11:56:00 -0700

By 35 I hope to have a home of my own. I would also like to get married, but it feels weird considering that an accomplishment, so instead I’m going to say have a book written and published. It doesn’t have to be successful, just something I can be proud of.

By 40 I will have…I mean I’m going to be…one of the things I…

You know, it’s not until moments like these do I realize I have very few obtainable goals. I would like to own a vacation home and I’ve always said someday I’m going to own my own island and I would like to have enough money to have a boat, but none of those things seem obtainable at this point. And furthermore, they don’t feel very important. I suppose one of the reasons I’m not as far along in my success story as I want to be is because I don’t know what the story is supposed to be. I’m not setting goals for myself on a regular basis and that probably is the cause to a lot of stale lives and of a lot of unhappy people. I guess I should get on that before I start putting myself in those categories. Thanks for the reminder that I need to get out of bed and get on with living.

will you marry me? where would we go for our honeymoon? what would we name our kids? what is the meaning of life?

Mon, 20 May 2013 11:47:26 -0700

In all seriousness, maybe. I don’t know. I don’t know who I will end up marrying. It could be someone I already know or it could be a total stranger I have yet to meet. I may meet her today. It could be you. It’s a real possibility in this world and that’s one of the things that makes this life worth living every day. So I can’t say no to you. But I also obviously can’t say yes because I don’t have any clue who you are. This could be the beginning of the rest of our lives, anon. Stop hiding. :)

I don’t know about you, but I think I’d like to spend our honeymoon in one of those bungalows out over the ocean. Maybe Bora Bora or something. I’m also down for travelling Europe. You’re going to have a say in this too, you know.

I’ve always wanted to name my first born The Machine if it were a boy and Sarah if a girl. But lately I’ve been leaning more toward Kingslayer if it were a boy. I’m not good with girls names. I’ll let you pick the girls.

I’ve actually answered this question before. But to put it more simply, the meaning of life is to eat as much pizza as possible and still be able to get laid. Once you lose one or the other, you may as well give up.

Do you think you'll live to be very old? Let's say you live into your nineties. What kind of old man would you like to be? What will you be doing with your life?

Mon, 20 May 2013 00:01:31 -0700

I used to ask people this question…at what age could you die and feel satisfied with your life? Most people would say something about their 80s or 90s. I said 36. Partly for the shock value and partly because it’s true. I’m not saying I want to die at 36 (and now the closer I get to that the less funny it sounds). I’m simply saying that I have always figured if I don’t accomplish it by 36, it probably won’t happen. But that wasn’t your question, was it?

You want to know if I’ll live to be very old and I can still say I hope not. I see elderly people walking or wheeling around looking miserable and decrepit and I just don’t want to get to that point. Honestly, if I could choose the age of death, right now I would say 75. I think that’s plenty long enough on this planet, but not quite old enough to worry about moths coming out of your mouth when you speak.

But if I were to live to my 90s, I would like to be that funny old guy who still surprises people with the amount of life he has in his voice. I want to be interesting. I want my grandchildren and even great-grandchildren to get excited when they are around me because I have stories to tell and odd gifts to present. I don’t want to ever have someone sigh when it comes to the idea of visiting me.

Either that or I’ll just steal things like crazy and blame it on dementia.

Meiko - Said And Done

Sun, 19 May 2013 09:16:11 -0700

Meiko - Said And Done

The Lie

Sat, 18 May 2013 15:45:19 -0700

And no one wants to say goodbye
But the word is one of common use,
One which ne’er hurts less with routine.
Because the pain comes from the why
Much more than from the words we choose,
Words that seek to rot our time between
Of when we meet and do retreat.

And still we meet where hearts deny
The thought of future soul’s abuse.
Beaten black and blue and green,
The envy of the time of lie
When truth refused to be set loose
For fear that what will then be seen
Is that the lie’s there’s no goodbye.

I lost one of my favorite followers.

Sat, 18 May 2013 12:30:18 -0700

I’m not one to unfollow someone just because they unfollowed me, and I still enjoyed her blog. But I just recently discovered she blocked me as well. As far as I know I did nothing.

If people want to leave, that’s their own prerogative But that one stung a little bit, not gonna lie.

I got birthday mail! From the lovely Reigny whom I’m happy...

Sat, 18 May 2013 09:15:26 -0700

I got birthday mail! From the lovely Reigny whom I’m happy to call my friend.

I just finished the last day of my 20s.

Sat, 18 May 2013 00:15:56 -0700

Where is the “unsubscribe” button?

Fri, 17 May 2013 11:15:57 -0700

Where is the “unsubscribe” button?

Sungha Jung - Gravity

Fri, 17 May 2013 09:56:41 -0700

Sungha Jung - Gravity

Strumming For Answers

Fri, 17 May 2013 09:15:47 -0700

I understand why people learn to play instruments. Sometimes a guitar can convey an emotion better than any lyrics that can be added to it. Lately I’ve found I have lost my voice. I have nothing to write about and when I try, I hate the outcome. I currently have 17 drafts of things I neither hate enough to delete nor like enough to finish. I go through fits of inspiration and right now my inspiration is apparently throwing a fit. It will come back, but who knows when.

I wish I could play an instrument, for times like these. I could change my emotion from thoughts to chords and still express to you what I feel even when I’m not quite sure myself what I want to say. Even an old melody can be replayed in a way words cannot. We may reread our past writings, but they won’t always bring the same feelings and nostalgia that a song can.

But my song doesn’t exist. I live in a world halted by silence. My mind is without a tune to write about and my heart grows heavy with the weight of what I can’t find to say. It’s a strange feeling when you can’t communicate. It’s like trying to describe what a burning sensation feels like. It feels like…burning. Sometimes words just won’t do.

Photo

Thu, 16 May 2013 09:15:36 -0700

When was the last time you did something for the first time? What was it, and did you enjoy the experience?

Wed, 15 May 2013 22:31:00 -0700

I had to think about this one for a long time. Apparently I haven’t done anything new in a while. The most recent thing that comes to mind is I tried to make fudge a while back. It went badly. I screwed it up. Fudge, as far as I can tell, is all about temperature control and I have an electric stove which is nearly impossible to control. Anyway, long story short it came out too hard and tough.

But more importantly, I need to try more new things. Any suggestions?