This upsets me. If you’re going to be dressing up, at least do it right. Putting aside the fact that the claws are way too big, you can’t just put on some kitchen gloves and wife beater and call it a day. At least try to grow some chops. But the worst of it is the tattoos. Wolverine never had tattoos at any point. In fact, it’s been pretty well stated that he couldn’t even if he wanted to; that his body’s healing ability would keep them from lasting any longer than a few hours (how this is, exactly, I do not know). Put a little effort into it, man!
Current Celebrity Crushes:
- Alison Brie
- Anna Kendrick
- Grace Helbig
- Aubrey Plaza
- Emma Watson
- Rachael Taylor
- Olivia Wilde
- Emma Stone
- Emilia Clarke
- Katy Perry
Things I’ve Learned From Rewatching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
- Dick Van Dyke was/is fantastic.
- According to this movie, everyone will always know the words and choreography for every song you make up.
- The kidnapper with the big nose is still creepy as fuck.
- The little girl’s name was Jamima. And the actress never did anything again.
- Never take your kids to Vulgaria.
- I forgot about 85% of these songs until they started and then it was as if I’ve heard them every day for the past 20 years.
- Old movies>new movies*
- It was 2.5 hours long!
- It could have easily turned into a porno halfway through. They wouldn’t have even had to change the name.
- I’d be willing to bet the German Beer Wench fetish probably started with Sally Ann Howes dressed as that toy.
- They were obviously trying to ride the success of Mary Poppins because it has a very similar feel.
*This has not yet been fully tested and proved.
What are you doing there, Tony?
A friendly reminder from Cher about Daylight Savings.
All of you are talking about how you are falling in love with each other from the tumblr311 video things and all I can think about is how you’d all make terrible cinematographers.
Bad Movie Ideas
I watched movie 43 the other night while I was making dinner and it was every bit as bad as you’d think. Probably worse. I even looked up the reason why all of those actors would show up in a movie that bad only to find out that most were guilted into it. So, since it seems so easy to just throw a bad movie idea out there and make money, I’ve come up with a few of my own.
- Andrea, a middle-aged theatre geek, puts together a one-woman act in an attempt to find a mate before her biological clock runs out in Standing Ovulation.
- Oh no! Chucky has been kidnapped! And it’s up to the rest of the horror movie villains to find out who took him and put together the most violent rescue mission ever in The Abduction Of Chucky.
- Danny, Sandy, and the rest of the gang are back for one last summer of lovin’ that their Alzheimer’s medication surely won’t let them forget, including the most intense walker race you’ve ever seen, in Grease 3: Wrinkled Wishes.
- A zombie breakout in the old west town of El Descabellado can only be saved by (you guessed it!) the ghost of Charles Bronson in Death Cowboy.
- After being lost in space for 55 years, Michael finally finds his way home only to be alienated for being different in a now midget-run world in Space Giant.
Asparagus is my Kryptonite.
It makes no sense.
I made dinner tonight. Chicken with yellow rice and asparagus. The chicken was good, the rice was great, but the asparagus somehow ended up meh. It makes no sense because it, in theory, is the easiest thing to cook. A little oil, a little seasoning, and stick it in the oven. But every time it turns out the worst part of the meal, which is sad because I love the stuff. Hmm.
The cute cocktail waitress was in the break room talking to some guy and I kind of felt jealous. But here’s the thing, I was in there before him. I could have sat next to her and talked to her, or talked to her at any point over the past five months, but I haven’t because trying for a relationship just doesn’t feel worth the effort anymore. I think there’s a point when you’re single for so long that you don’t know how—and maybe don’t want—to find someone.
When I was younger it was more about a fear of rejection. As I get older it becomes more about “is it worth it?” And I think that’s way worse because you can always get over fear, but laziness is a black hole that’s hard to climb out of.
- I don’t understand when you guys reblog something and say you’ve been laughing at it forever or that you can’t breath or that you’re “literally” dying because most of the time I see it and am like, “ah. heh.”
- I was precockblocked on Facebook the other day.
- I haven’t worked since last Tuesday. I don’t wanna go back to work tomorrow. Whaa!
- I made dinner tonight and it was quite disappointing. But I still have the mess to clean up. I think that if dinner is bad the dishes should automatically reset because otherwise it’s not fair!
- I currently have nine football Jerseys sitting by my front door to distribute at work tomorrow. There’s supposed to be ten though.
- I just finished season 4 of Breaking Bad. It left me with no rush to jump into season 5.
- Also, it might be because I started playing GTA V and can’t think of anything else. Seriously, that game is dangerous. Don’t play it for two straight days and then immediately go for a drive. You will wreck your car (not that I did). Also, the online sucks. At least right now. I waited for 10 minutes for it to load, raced against myself (I won!), loaded, was killed, it froze, loaded, was killed, customized a car, was booted by players, loaded, gave up.
- By the way, the trip was okay.
- I think tomorrow I’m gonna make some pumpkin dumplings. I’ll try to remember to recipe it.